Right, here’s the rundown of the latest AI nonsense, brought to you by the gods of dopamine hits and existential dread.
Google just spat out Gemini 2.5 Flash. What’s that? Oh, just their AI model on overdrive – faster, leaner, cheaper, and allegedly smarter. It’s like Gemini 1.5 but slimmed down for summer and hopped up on codeine and ambition. They’re pushing this mini-me for real-time, rapid-response AI tasks, like helping you autogenerate emails you don’t care about even faster.
Meanwhile, Midjourney wants to be a film director now. Yes, the text-to-image overlord is stepping into the video ring – because nothing screams ‘creative visionary’ like a machine churning out TikTok-bait animations with the emotional depth of a toaster. Tutorials for testing this alpha video feature surfaced, which means you too can generate 4 seconds of uncanny valley weirdness from your shower thoughts.
On the drama front, OpenAI is side-eying Microsoft. Why? Because apparently feeding ChatGPT’s outputs into Bing without saying please might not be the best idea. Shocker. OpenAI’s board also lost another member, probably after realizing the AI ethics committee is about as effective as a parachute made of paper.
Oh, and NVIDIA continues to print money like it’s got a gold-plated GPU factory run by leprechauns. Everyone wants chips; NVIDIA just gives zero f**ks and sells them all.
To summarize: The AI arms race is in full lunatic sprint – Google’s juicing, Midjourney’s hallucinating, OpenAI is low-key spiraling, and somehow Microsoft and NVIDIA are laughing all the way to the bank. God help us all.