You ever start a sentence with, ‘I just wanted to…’ or ‘I’m just checking in…’ Yeah? Congratulations, you’ve unintentionally downgraded yourself to background noise.
Using ‘just’ is basically the verbal equivalent of nervously tiptoeing into a room and whispering, ‘Please don’t hate me for breathing air.’ It makes your message sound like an apology for having the audacity to speak. It screams, ‘Hey, ignore me if you want, because I clearly don’t think I matter that much.’
Spoiler alert: You do matter. Or at least your message does—unless you’re inviting people to a 4-hour Zoom meeting that could’ve been an email. Then maybe you should apologize.
But seriously, there’s a difference between being polite and being a doormat professionally gift-wrapped in passive phrasing. When you cut the ‘just’, your communication levels up from ‘insecure intern trying not to get fired’ to ‘confident human with something to say.’
So next time you’re about to send an email that says, ‘Just checking in,’ stop. Delete ‘just’. Send the email. Then go outside and breathe in the fresh air of not selling yourself short.
Bottom line: Speak like you give a damn. Because if you don’t, why the hell should anyone else?